I think the phrase Christian Music is just slang.  To publishers, record labels, radio stations, and retail stores who sell to Christians, it means music they think they can sell to Christians.  But just singing about God or Jesus or the Gospel doesn’t make a song Christian – and it doesn’t make it good either.  Music is art.  Music is also woven into our soul’s core.

The tension and release of chord progressions, verses, choruses, and bridges – the sonic wave form of every note – the volume – the timbre – the tempo – the story – all tie in completely with our minds, our bodies, and our world.  It’s very similar to the tension and release of acts 2 and 3 of a play, or any good story.  It mirrors the moon revolving around the earth and the earth revolving around the sun.  We feel it in our sneezes and orgasms.  It’s also represented in the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ.  The constant beating of our hearts and the rhythm of blood flowing through our veins and lungs filling up and emptying out – are all music.

Music uses all of our senses.  Our ears are designed to sense certain wave lengths, while our eyes are designed to sense other wavelengths, while our skin is designed to sense even other wavelengths (ie, the pressure from the bass coming through the sub-woofers).  At a concert, while sensing all of that, we smell our surroundings and taste whatever is passing through our mouths – all for our minds to use to create one gigantic experience and memory.  But that still doesn’t necessarily make it a Christian experience.

If I were not a Christian and were to look at a painting of Jesus on the cross, I might admire the detail or the color, or I might even scoff at it and wonder why so many people believe something so crazy.  But if I were a Christian and looked at the painting, I might also think about what it means to me that Jesus died on the cross for me.  Or I might not.  Likewise, a Christian could look at a painting of a flower and think about how wonderful and amazing it is that God created such an intricate and interwoven thing called nature.  Or he could also look at it and think the artist doesn’t know how to paint flowers very well.  While a person who is not a Christian could look at the same painting and think about how beautiful flowers are or about how their allergies are acting up again.  The same goes for music.

As I stood in the mud listening to Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam sing and talk Sunday night, it was worship to me.  It gave me comfort and hope.  He spoke about how we all needed to take care of each other and how much value each of us has as individuals.  It reminded me of Matthew 22:37-39 where Jesus tells us  “…love your neighbor as yourself” – and of the Book of Acts where the early Christians lived in community and took care of each other.  I looked around and saw people helping people in wheelchairs slide through the mud to get a better view of the jumbotrons.  As he sang “Alive”, I sang along “ohhh, Iiiii, ohhhh, I’m still Aliiiiiive” over and over.  What it meant to me at that moment (as thousands of us were screaming it together with our hands raised in the air), was just that – that I was still alive – that I was alive and well and feeling everything God created me to feel – that I was alive and thankful that I’m able to stand in the mud on a Sunday night and listen to Eddie Vedder – that Christ is alive in me at that very moment making me able to appreciate the grace and everything else I’ve been given.

I don’t doubt hard core Pearl Jam fans might argue that I’m an idiot and tell me all about how “Alive” is part one of Vedder’s Mamasan Trilogy and is about how a boy was sexually abused by his mom because he looked like his dad who had died before he could know him (followed by Once and Footsteps).  I would argue that is what it might have meant to Vedder or what it might mean to others, but no one can tell me what it meant to me that night at ACL.

Likewise, there have been times at church, where a band is playing what most would call “Christian Music” or “Praise and Worship Music”, when not one single wholesome or Christ-like thought comes to mind.  Maybe it was my mood that day or maybe the way the band played it wasn’t sitting well with me.

My point is that whether someone calls a song Christian or Secular or Mainstream is somewhat meaningless to me.  Whether it happens in a church or a mud pit isn’t important either.  Whether you have a similar experience with a song as me or not is also not important.  What’s important is the experience – what do we take away from it – and what do we give back.  Where does it take us and does it bring us back.  How does it change us or how does it reaffirm who we already are.  How does it make us feel and why.  Is it exposing some area of our heart that needs light or is it causing us to curl up in a ball and hide.  Does it fill us with unbridled joy and cause us to celebrate our creator or does it wrap us in a cold wet blanket that is oddly comfortable.  The answers to those questions may depend on whether we are a Christian or not.  But not whether the music is Christian or not.  It’s not.

I thought I had good friends.  They were good, but I didn’t know what a friend really was.  They ended up just being guys who wanted to get drunk together.  Maybe none of us knew how to “fit in” so we escaped with the alcohol.  I remember wishing I would get a phone call from anyone besides my usual cast of 16 year-old drunks to go do something.  It never happened.

I had stopped going to church because that wasn’t cool anymore (after middle school years of choir, bell choir, and youth groups).  I dropped out of the German Club because that certainly wasn’t cool.  One of my sisters got the golf coach to agree to put me on the golf team, so I would be cool – but I sucked and never got to play – so that wasn’t cool.  I did my homework every night and that certainly wasn’t cool – and people copied it from me every morning – and while that seemed cool, it wasn’t.

I was lost.  Every peer, commercial, TV show, song on the radio, and magazine was telling me I wasn’t normal unless I was masturbating or having sex – and as much as I tried, it wasn’t happening, so I assumed it was one more thing that made me worse than not cool.  I pretty much made straight A’s when I wanted to but school was boring.  It was so boring that a friend and I would go to 7-11 before class at 7am and buy a six-pack of Mickey’s Beer and slam 3 each before math class (we chose Mickey’s because it supposedly got you the most drunk).  It at least made math a little more fun.

I remember when The Rolling Stones released Waiting on a Friend (you can check out Pearl Jam’s cover of it here on Hype Machine).  I think it was my senior year.  I played it over and over and over.  It shocked me.  It gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe someone else suffered the same thing as me.

Don’t need a whore.  I don’t need no booze….I’m just waiting on a friend.

When college came along, I thought I had finally discovered friendship by being in a fraternity.  I’m still close friends with many of them, but for the most part it was high school times ten.  More and more pressure for sex, alcohol, drugs, and fitting in.

I may not have needed a “virgin priest” like Mick Jagger sang, but I needed a friend.  I just didn’t have a clear definition of what that meant.  Mick tried to help by saying, “I need someone I can cry to, I need someone to protect“, but I didn’t get that either because it wasn’t cool to cry, right?  Plus it was all about me so why would I worry about protecting someone else?

I pretty much spent from 1979 to 2005 without a relationship with God or a local church and had no Christian mentors that I was aware of to guide me or teach me or show me their relationship with Christ.  I pursued money, power, and sex like I thought I was supposed to.  I used to wish I could turn the clock back and get a do-over based on what I know now.  But now I realize that God has some pretty huge plans for me to help Him teach young men today what real friends are.

Some might call it being in “community”.  Some might call it being loved.  Some might call it being part of “the church” (where everyone loves and supports each other, right?).  It could be all of that.  But I think it is easier than that.  I think a real friend is someone I can (and should) confess my most darkest secrets to, someone I can call at 3am who will answer and not be pissed off, someone I care about enough to mean it when I ask how they are doing, someone who means it when they ask me how I’m doing, someone who will hold me accountable to do what I say I’m going to do and what I need to do, someone to call me out when I screw up, someone who trusts me, someone I trust, someone whose needs I put before mine, someone who puts my needs before theirs, and I could probably go on and on.

I think Joe Cocker may say it best in his 1969 cover of the Beatle’s With a Little Help from My Friends when he sings, “I need someone to love“. (you can check it out here on Hype Machine).

Wow.  I bet most people don’t believe you can have many true or real friends like that.  They’re wrong.  You can.  If you don’t already have them, the best and fastest way to get them is to be that kind of friend to others first – while being self-less and not expecting anything in return.  Put their needs before your own.  Before you know it, you’ll have more real friends than you ever imagined.

Funny thing is that all of that is taught all throughout the Bible.  If I’d only realized that at age 16 I might have prevented a lot of the harm and heartache that I caused.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” – James 5:16

I don’t think James was just making a suggestion.  I believe it is truth and that the “healing” he is refering to is the kind that makes life exciting and fulfilling and filled with joy.  It takes a real friend to be able to confess and pray with.

“Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them” – John 13:17

John 13 is the story about how Jesus washes the feet of his disciples.  Afterwords, Jesus says, “I have set an example that you should do as I have done for you.”  His point is to get us to serve each other, putting others’ needs before our own, and that none of us are better than another.

“A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, you must love one another.” – John 13:34

Yep, Jesus said it straight up – a new command – not a recommendation – to love one another.  That’s what real friends do.  But I guess by Jesus’ definition the entire world is supposed to be real friends then.  Wow.  What would that look like?  Oh yeah.  Heaven.  One of these days…

There are two types of pride.  One type of pride, the bad type, is when you feel superior or like you’re better than others – whether it’s just in your head or acted out.  This is the type of pride that is proud of winning a football game or battle of the bands because you love that the others lost or were inferior – you feel you were better than them.  It could also be the type of pride that shows you think you’re better than someone else because you can quote Scripture or know more about the Bible than someone else.

The other type of pride – the good type – is what many refer to as a “healthy sense of self” – healthy meaning “without comparison to others”.  It’s awesome to be proud of yourself or others – because of what you or they have done – but only as long as it doesn’t involve comparing yourself to others – tearing others down.  This is the type of pride that is proud of winning a football game, winning a battle of the bands, making good grades,  or writing a killer screenplay – because you worked hard and did your best – and that is something to feel good about – or feel great about.  You can feel good about yourself without having to tear others down.

Paul talks about pride in his letter to the Galatians.  In chapter 6 verses 1-5, he says,

“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.  But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.  Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.  Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. (NIV)”

Paul is saying we can take pride in ourselves – but only after we’ve tested our own actions – examined what we accomplished and why – and only without comparing ourselves to others.

This is a great message about teamwork too.  The Galatians were in the middle of a crisis and all sorts of ‘types’ of Christians were forming – the Jewish Christians, the rich Christians, the Romans, etc. – and they were looking down on each other feeling that they were better than the others – better because they saw the others making mistakes or stumbling.  Paul’s letter tells us how we need to help each other when we stumble – “carry each other’s burdens” – just like great teamwork.

It’s also a great message about how churches should work together as the body of Christ instead of tearing each other down – but politics and pride (the bad kind) seem to often times get in the way.  I believe Jesus wants His church to function as a top rated team – all working together and helping each other – in the battle of good vs. evil – and even wants us to be proud of what we accomplish.

It’s also just like Paul to pack way more into a few sentences.  The message is also a great description of humility.  If your buddy sins this morning, it will likely be your turn this afternoon – so be humble about it.  Paul touches on it at least twice – “restore him gently” – meaning not to get in your buddy’s face about it and tear him down, and again with “if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself” – meaning that if you think you are better than others, that is proof in and of itself that you’re not – that you’re deceiving yourself (but most likely not fooling anyone else around you).

U2’s song, Pride (In The Name Of Love) is about people who died taking risks and standing up for something in the name of love.  There are obvious references to MLK, Jr. (April 4) and Christ (betrayed with a kiss) – and not so obvious references according to some of Dietrich Bonhoeffer (one man caught on a barbed wire fence) – which is where his body was said to be found.

But I’ve always wondered why Bono chose the name “Pride” for the song.  The only place it’s used in the song is in the line, “Free at last, they took your life, they could not take your pride”.  To me, it’s at least another example of the good kind of pride – the pride of knowing you’ve done something in the name of love – in the name of serving others or putting others first – a pride that no one can take from you and that you can take with you – a pride that doesn’t involve comparing what you’ve done to what others didn’t do.

I’ve been taking communion since I was baptized in the 6th grade. I think I’ve probably heard dozens of great preachers tell me all about the Lord’s Supper and what it means – not to mention the thousands of times they’ve reviewed it right before serving “the elements”. But no, not this time. Matt Carter brought it home. I will never ever experience communion the same way again.

In 1 Corinthians 11:17-34, Paul is talking to the Corinthian Church about The Lord’s Supper. First of all, Matt made it clear that there is no place in the Bible where it says how often or how we are to take communion – but that it does command us to take it – and that we are supposed to examine our hearts before we come. It’s funny how some denominations take it once a quarter, some once a month, and some every Sunday. I always wondered about that.

Paul talks about how taking communion with an unworthy heart is a really big deal – and will result in discipline from God on the same level of big deal as Jesus dying on the cross. Not condemnation but discipline – loving discipline. Paul says in verse 30, “That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep.” Matt Carter explained how the original greek for “asleep” is used in other verses in the Bible to mean death. I don’t believe he was telling us that God would make us sick or die if we didn’t do communion right. But I believe whole heartedly that it is a really really big deal.

Jesus’ command was to “..do this in remembrance of me”. Matt explained how “remembrance” was just remembering like we use the term in English – remember the facts. The original meaning was more about re-capturing the significance of the event. Matt went on to explain it with a story about losing his mom. He could stand there and tell us the facts about her death and not be moved by it. But if he were to really think back to that day when he and his dad and sister watched their mom and wife die right in front of them, and the whaling of his dad, and the blank look of hopelessness on his sister’s face, that there is no way he could do so without feeling the full impact of the event and weeping. This is what Jesus meant when he instructed us to “..do this in remembrance of me.”

Paul is talking about how the people of Corinth were showing up to steal the bread and eat it before anyone else could, or how others were getting drunk off of the wine. He told them “..whoever eats the bread and drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord.” We might argue that we don’t steal the bread or get drunk off of the grape juice, so this doesn’t apply to us. But it does. We simply cannot come to the Lord’s table without examining our hearts first and recognizing the significance of the event – taking ourselves back to that last day – to the gruesome death that Christ suffered just for us – just for us to be able to be forgiven once and for all. We do this and we ball like babies in awe and thankfulness until He comes back again.

Again, my words here don’t even come anywhere close to the experience I had tonight. Even if you listen to the sermon online, I doubt you will get a fraction of the intensity in that room. I wish everyone could have been there. I mean everyone. It wasn’t there yet as I wrote this, but you can check here to find and listen to the mp3 of the sermon once it is available.

As a child, I loved Christmas because of all of the celebrations, lights, and gifts.  Then later, as an adult, I became disgusted with the commercialism or consumerism that seemed to take over the holiday.  I realized that Christmas was more about profits and losses and me, me, me than it was about the birth of Christ.   Once I learned a little history about Christmas, I realized that Christians actually stole it (and borrowed some of the folklore and traditions) from the Pagans who were already partying every winter to celebrate the Winter Solstice.   I guess we had to compete and show that we partied too.  So now I don’t get as frustrated with the traffic or shopping crowds.  And when I hear someone say “the reason for the season” I know they haven’t done their homework.  There are tons of reasons and history behind celebrating and exchanging gifts during the Winter – and for more than just Christians.  But for me, I’ve decided it is what we make of it.

I want to really dive into Advent this year and discover its history and see how I can participate in it or celebrate it or study it – for no other reason than millions of people all over the world are showing up to church services over the next 4 weeks with purple and rose colored candles in their Advent Wreaths (or some who use only white ones), while a cute little family has a child light the candles according to over 1600 years of tradition.  I doubt that most of those millions could tell you much about what’s up with that tradition (uh oh, that was a pretty judgmental thing for me to say).  I just always thought it was a time that marked the four weeks prior to Christmas where Dad read something boring to us and then we sang a few Christmas hymns.  It made the family happy and was a small price to pay for a chance at better gifts on Christmas day – or better yet – a chance at getting to open a present early.  Dad always used to read stuff to us during Advent written by a guy named Martin Luther.  I had heard of him and thought he had something to do with civil rights.  It was much later in life that I realized he was the Martin Luther behind the whole Protestant Reformation in the 1500’s and that Martin Luther King, Jr. was the civil rights advocate from the 1950’s who was just named after him.  The book dad read from was called Martin Luther’s Christmas Book.  I just bought it and doubt it will be boring to me now.

I feel like an idiot because I also knew there was a Christian denomination called Lutheran.  It just never clicked with me that it was from the Martin Luther of the 1500s.  It was the German Lutherans who began to physically mark the days of Advent with an Advent Calendar – using chalk marks on a door and eventually candles.  Apparently, the first known public Advent Wreath was hung in a prayer hall in Hamburg, Germany in 1839 although it had supposedly been a private family practice since the 1600s.

I’m somewhat ashamed to have taken this many years to care enough about it to really try and understand it.  On the other hand, I’m completely stoked to discover what its all about – at least to me.  And I plan to share it with you.  I’ve never been good about just accepting what someone tells me.  I have to dig around and check it out.  If you’re that way too, but don’t have time, I hope my digging around proves to be useful to you.

The word advent comes from the Latin word “adventus” meaning “coming”.  The latin word is a translation of the Greek word “parousia” which is commonly used in reference to the Second Coming of Christ.  The prevalent Christian practice is that the season or time of Advent serves as a dual reminder of the original waiting that the Hebrews did for the first coming of Christ – as well as the waiting today that takes place for the second coming.

On the first Sunday of Advent, the first candle is lit.  It is usually purple and is traditionally the candle of Expectation or Hope.  Throughout the Old Testament, we see that God’s people were abused by kings, led astray by self-centered prophets, and lulled into apathy by half-hearted religious leaders.  This created a longing among some for God to raise up a new king.  So God revealed to some prophets that He would not leave His people without a true shepherd.  Christ came.  Now, the world is still not quite “as it is in heaven”, so we wait with hope for the Second Advent – the second coming – when things will be “on earth as it is in heaven” – or what I believe will be when earth and heaven become one. One way I came to understand or believe that was through reading N.T. Wright’s newest book, Surprised by Hope.

But I believe that Advent is also about hope for today – for what God is doing right now right here through Christ who is with us each day as the Holy Spirit.  I see God at work everywhere and it is amazing and exciting.

I was with my 19-year-old niece, Jess, this weekend for Thanksgiving.  She told me about all she had been learning in a social work course she is taking in college.  The teacher is also the CEO of a boys home and instead of lecturing everyday, he takes the class to various social work related organizations to experience first hand the work being done by social workers (or by God through the body of Christ who are the social workers).  Hearing her talk about how she wanted to go into some type of social work as a career was inspiring.  It took me over 40 years to realize that there are a lot of people who through no fault of their own need help.  I’m hopeful that she and many others like her are learning it so much sooner and doing something about it.

I also met Jess’ friend this weekend, a 19-year-old girl named Amy who is raising her 5-year-old brother, Nathaniel, all on her own – all while she works and goes to college to pursue a career in social work or counseling of some kind.  She works harder and is smarter than almost anyone I’ve ever met.  She does it mostly so that Nathaniel will have a better chance and a better life than she has had.  She gives me tremendous hope.

I see hope though what God is doing in these and many other people’s lives.  I also see what God is doing to bring hope into my own daily life.  One thing is the encouragement to write more notes like this one. Another is that after two and a half years of no regular employment or income (and various failed attempts at entrepreneurship), I now have several awesome sources of income for awesome work both as a software developer and marketing consultant. Most importantly (at least for today), I see the excitement and hope of figuring out what it means to “do church” or “belong to a church” or “choose a church” – and whether or not we can faithfully serve or attend multiple churches and what that means.

These notes stir up great conversation (which I invite and encourage even if it is to completely disagree with me).

Another major way God is working in my life and giving me hope is financially.  I’ve done well financially my entire life – that is, in worldly terms.  But I don’t feel like I’ve ever been a good steward of the money I’ve made.  I mostly just pissed it away on things I probably didn’t need – mostly.  I’m not there yet, and don’t know if I’ll ever be, but I’m making great steps toward living within my means and when spending money on anything, trying to make sure it is something God would be fine with knowing that it is His money. With the new jobs and sources of income now, I’m sure it will be difficult. Will I buy that cool 52″ HDTV now? Will I finally buy a new vehicle and try to justify it since my 1995 Jeep just passed 190,000 miles? Will I keep eating out every meal and eating too much? I hope not, but the odds are against me.

So yeah.  This week is the first week of Advent – a week of hope and expectation.  I don’t think I’ve ever been more hopeful.  I hope the same is true for you too!

Today I picked up the November/December (#36) issue with Thom Yorke on the cover. Three sections jumped off the pages at me. One was about Scott Harrison and his Charity:Water organization, another was an overview of The Mentoring Project founded by Donald Miller, and another was about human trafficking.

I’ve seen countless commercials, mass mailings, posters, flyers, articles, sermons, and outreach programs that give all of the gory details of worldwide social injustices. The statistics have always been staggering and even shocking. But they can also come so hard and fast that they become numbing and unbelievable. I’ve often felt that if you added up the totals of the number of people who die each week due to Cause X, that the total would be about 100 times more than the actual number of people who die each week. I’m not accusing anyone of lying, but it is just a perception that creeps in. I’m amazed at my own ability over the years to justify not doing more.

During my late-teens and 20s, I’m certain that I was much more concerned with my own future than anyone else’s. How in the world was I supposed to do something about billions of other people when I was worried about the pressure society was putting on me to be “successful”? Every moment was filled with how to get on the right career path, have the right house, in the best neighborhood, with the coolest truck, find the perfect wife, custom build the raddest BBQ grill, go on the most envious vacations, and have the smartest 2.5 kids. As the treasurer of my fraternity in college, I used the fraternity’s money to sponsor a child in Africa for $20 a month. His name was Aphu Abaru. I had done my part (even though we spent tons more on pay-per-view TV and alcohol).

During my 30s I started to feel the need to give back more, but now I realize it was all in self-interest. I got on boards of several charitable organizations, but looking back, I realize it was only to be able to say, “Hey, look at me. How great is it that I’m serving others by being on the board of an organization that serves homeless families?” Yeah, I thought it would help my resume too. Then, the first time I was asked to actually go serve some of the families, I ran for cover for fear of the inconvenience of my time and the awkwardness of dropping off clothes in a “bad” neighborhood.

Now, in my 40s, I thought I had it all figured out. I’m absolutely convicted about helping youth become all they were intended to be and have served in a high school youth ministry for over three years. Week after week, stories of suicide of high school and college students dropped in my lap and I became convicted to help prevent it. Yep, I’m doing my part. I’m good. When people start talking about Africa or AIDS or poverty or any other social injustices local or international, I just sit back with my head up high and think, “Those aren’t things I’m called to do. I’m glad others are, but I’m already doing my part right here, thank you.” Well, it just dawned on me that all of that is one big load of crap.

There are those who don’t know any better. There are those who know and don’t do anything about it. There are those who know and convince themselves they are doing their share when they’re not. And then there are those who get it – and day after day – struggle after struggle – celebration after celebration – do everything they can to put others’ needs before their own. I’ve been all of the former and would love to be one of the latter.

In the “Fountains of Life” article (Relevant issue #36 page 60), by Chris Goodson, it talks a lot about how Scott Harrison is doing his part to bring clean water to those who don’t have it. I don’t know why, but when I read in the article that 1.1 billion people live without access to clean water and that 42,000 die EACH WEEK with 90% being under the age of 5, I was struck. I’ve probably heard bigger numbers before related to many other problems, but this one woke me up. Harrison said, “What that actually means is that millions of people walk hours each day to get water that makes them sick.” Crap, I still drive 4 blocks to by two tacos and a bean burrito at Taco Bell and complain that the price went up a few pennies – but millions of people are walking hours only to find water that makes them sick? I get irritated that my cable company dropped NBC so I have to watch 30 Rock on my computer, but millions of people walk hours a day only to find water that makes them sick? I’m a wretched fool.

In the “The Mentoring Project” article (Relevant issue #36 page 22), by Jahred Schmidt, it mentions how people think of slavery, poverty, and the environment as our urgent issues, but that other important issues lurk in the shadows – such as fatherlessness. The stat that grabbed me here was that there are 25 million children a year in the United States who grow up without a positive male role model. I’ve known about this for a long time and love all of Donald Miller’s books. His book titled To Own a Dragon talks about his own fatherless childhood and he is the founder of The Mentoring Project and Belmont Foundation. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that fatherlessness is at the heart of so much that’s hurting in the U.S. and elsewhere. What if these 25 million children each year had positive male role models and grew up to be leaders in society to fight injustices and raise their own families accordingly? It would probably mean that Scripture would be realized and that the Lord’s Prayer would be answered by having His kingdom come here on earth as it is in heaven.

So why stop at lack of clean water and fatherlessness. Let’s move on to slavery. I’d love to take my video camera over to South Congress and ask people if slavery still existed. I’m sure I would get some yes answers, but I bet there would be plenty who think it no longer exists. I’ve heard people mention it and even seen news specials on it, but somehow I’ve managed to believe it just isn’t my calling. The “Stephanie Fisk – Adventures in Missions” article (Relevant issue #36 page 28) talks about how Stephanie and some friends rode their bikes from Phoenix to the Grand Canyon and back to raise awareness for human trafficking.

The article mentions that the world slave trade is still an estimated $30 Billion per year industry. She said, “it shocked me to find out that an estimated 27 million slaves exist in the world today in the form of sex slaves, domestic laborers, and child soldiers.” Her goal is to continue to meet people and tell their stories. Yeah, I get pissed when homeless guys get too drunk and pass out on my lawn (yes, that happens in South Austin), but I don’t get pissed about 27 million slaves in the world?

I know the answer isn’t me selling everything and moving to Africa. I know the answer isn’t giving all of my money to these organizations. I know the answer isn’t starting a new organization to champion some similar under-served cause. I know I can’t solve everything. I know these things can be overwhelming. I know I might care about all of this today and forget by tomorrow. I know these aren’t the answer for me personally. Why? Because I haven’t been asking myself the right questions.

How much can I afford to give? Who should I give it to? How much time can I commit? Who should I commit it to? Which cause am I called to serve? How will I know that I am doing my part? Are these the questions I should be asking myself? I don’t think so. Are we supposed to live miserable and sad lives while we suffer and give everything to “the least of these”? That seems almost like asking if you’ve stopped beating your wife.

I’m going to try to figure out the right questions for me. For starters, I think it has to do with asking God, “What is the BEST way I can use my resources today and tomorrow” instead of asking “What is the RIGHT way…” I think we all have an unlimited capability to justify something as the “right” thing to do no matter how limited or shady it might be, whereas it is real tough to deny what the “best” thing would be – both for others and ourselves. As I figure it out, I’ll let you know and hope you will do the same.

If you read this and think that Relevant Magazine is all about social justice, I’ve misled you. It is an awesome magazine about everything that’s…well….Relevant. From an interview with the band, What Made Milwaukee Famous, to album reviews, including one of my favorites, Only By The Night from Kings of Leon, to book reviews, to movie reviews, to current events, to a preview of 2009 trends, and many more. And if you would like a subscription for Christmas, send me your address and I’ll get you one. Seriously. Or, if you want to subscribe on your own, then click here.

These few hours opened my eyes. I learned so much. It was like a fire hose attached to my eye sockets on full blast (but without the pain of course). While maybe only a small slice, I learned about their lives. I learned some of their vocabulary too. I want to forget everything I wrote in my last blog entry about panhandling, because I wrote it without ever having sat down with someone who is doing it.

They call it “Flying”. At first, I thought that was a term for taking drugs, but it is what they call it when they are on the street holding up a sign and asking for money – because they are ‘flying’ the sign. Not all of them go flying, but some do. These seem like very resourceful people in many ways.

They know where to go in town to find the best left over cigarette butts where others leave them partially unsmoked from being on hurried smoke breaks. They call this ’sniping’. They also know where to go to find clothes that people drop off at charities after hours. One day, one of them was hoping he could find a new t-shirt and he stumbled on an old semi-beat-up mp3 player/recorder. Him and a friend took it to a local music store and recorded some original music with the store’s guitars. I got to hear one of their recordings and it was awesome. The production quality was horrible, but who cares. The lyrics, the two guitars (lead and rhythm), and the fact that it was two homeless guys in a music store singing about their life stories made it priceless.

He just found out that one of his “flying” friends has a brain tumor and only has 6 months to live. So they spend time each week under a bridge in Austin with the little recorder recording his life stories so he will have something left behind to share with the world. He also plans to write some songs about his friend’s stories.

He used to work in customer support for a high tech company helping end-users with hardware problems. He said this is what enabled him to figure out how to use the mp3 recorder he found – although his eyesight is getting bad.

Looking back, there are lots of things I want to ask – like what caused the transition from high tech to homelessness. But I hope I get to continue to hang out with him and get to know each other better.

The ministry volunteers were saying that they mainly get “traveling homeless” or “gutter punks”. Right now, with it still being the end of summer, most of them aren’t here yet. But come some cooler weather in September, they will start seeing from 20 to 30 a day. It was refreshing to see their ministry style too. They aren’t the in-your-face-repent-or-go-to-hell type of guys. They are all about meeting people where they are at and building relationships. As the relationships develop, the people know that these missionaries are Christ followers – they can see Christ through them and at work in them – and then the non-believers or seekers start to want to know more.

I also learned a little bit about crime. One of the homeless guys who stopped by was telling me how unfortunate it is that some of the traveling homeless might resort to crime to get money – even go as far as mugging UT students in dark allies as they walk home alone at night. So here I was – almost in tears as I heard the amazing stories of one of these guys caring for his friend in his last 6 months of life – while at the same time – almost in fear or rage to hear about the almost certain upcoming muggings of students. But now it makes sense.

Why should I expect any different? These are people. And all people are broken and have baggage. They come from all walks of life. They have all sorts of various sets of values and morals and hopes and struggles. They are a cross-section of society. I could now care less about whether or not they are lazy. I and many others I know are too. It doesn’t bother me to know that they beg for their money. Many of us do too don’t we – isn’t the sucking up we do to our bosses or clients sometimes the same if not worse than begging? Sometimes we say that they are annoying. But aren’t there countless annoying people out there who have jobs and homes too? It doesn’t bother me to know that many of them might spend their money on drugs. Many of us spend our money on things we either don’t need or shouldn’t have and we certainly don’t want anyone telling us how to spend our money.

The artist called Lazyboy wrote and released a song about this called Underwear Goes Inside The Pants. I don’t necessarily agree with everything he says, but I think he hits some truth.

We’re in one of the richest countries in the world
and the minimum wage is lower now than it was thirty-five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere…
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought
he’s just going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought: “That’s what I’m going to use it on!”
“Why am I judging this poor bastard?”

People love to judge homeless guys.
Like if you give him the money he’s just going to waste it.
He’s going to waste the money.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do?
Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack?
He’s homeless!

I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and goes:
“Why don’t you go get a job, you bum?”
People always say that to homeless guys,
“Get a job”, like it is always that easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
I’m guessing his resume ain’t all up to date.
I’m predicting some problems during the interview process.
I’m pretty sure even McDonald’s has a “Underwear Go Inside The Pants” policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically,
I’m sure it is on the books.

Here’s a link to the rest of the lyrics. Here’s a link to download the song from AmazonMP3.

I’m not at all saying I think it is great that they are homeless or on the street corners or having to beg for money. But I’m also realizing that it can’t be up to me to decide what is the best way of life for someone. Who am I to say that people shouldn’t stand on corners and ask for money? Who am I to say how they should spend that money? Just because it might annoy me or make me awkward while I’m walking down the street or stopped at a light in my car, doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t happen. I don’t recall anything in the Bible that says, “thou shalt not beg for money or bother others”. But I do recall that it says to love my neighbor.

Each of us has to decide who our neighbors are and what it means to love them. To me, my neighbors are people who I come in contact with which pretty much includes most of Austin. It includes anyone sitting in the same room as me, anyone I pass on the street, anyone I drive by on my way to somewhere else. I take neighbor to mean the people around me. Some go farther and believe that it means all of humanity – which even drives them to go serve people in other countries. I can’t disagree with that, but for me, I still feel like it means the people physically around me. I’m not sure yet what all it means to love them.

My gut feeling tells me that to love them means to put their needs before my own. But I’m not even sure what that exactly means sometimes. It can’t mean to give them all of my money. It can’t mean to sell all of my furniture and lay down blankets for as many as possible to sleep under my air conditioning. Or can it? The only way I know to figure that out is to take one step at time – and continue to pray and listen to God along the way. I believe that the first most important steps any of us can take to love anyone is to get to know them – to build relationships – to listen – to understand. Without that step, anything else we come up with might likely miss the mark and do more harm than good.

I wondered how does God come into this? I believe that the only way for any of us to connect with and pursue our deepest desires and be truly fulfilled and satisfied is if we follow Christ. It seems pretty well proven that if we try to do it on our own, that we eventually screw it all up. One of my first thoughts when I met all of these folks, was how do we get them to follow Christ. Then I recalled something I heard Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz, say once. He said that getting people to follow Christ was like setting them up on a blind date. We introduce them to God and the rest is up to Him. That’s cool, because if it was up to me, I’d screw it up for sure. After the initial blind date, God will continue to use us and work through us to reveal Himself more and more to others. Taking this analogy further – people have to be willing to go on the blind date. I believe this happens when they see what all God is doing in our lives and see our relationship at work with Him – all sometimes without us having to say a word about it.

In addition to getting to know them and understand them (and allowing them to get to know me), I’m working on two other things now and I’d love for any of you who might be interested to contact me and get involved. One is that there seems to be an opportunity for an awesome homeless record label of sorts. A lot of these folks seem to be musicians and they have amazing stories to tell and sing about. I suppose it might be more than a label and could include written and spoken word as well as music. So I’m on a quest now to find a studio, other musicians, and maybe a music attorney to get involved and come up with ideas. I’m thinking about helping them release their material both as CDs they can sell and also have available as downloads (with a portion maybe from the downloads going back to the ministry). Maybe it can be an annual compilation CD that raises money for socks and blankets for the winter – or Ramen soup – or whatever. Maybe it even includes art and photography and putting videos on YouTube (as long as it is all for the right reasons). I don’t see any of them becoming the next American Idol (nor would I ever wish such harm on anyone), but I do see some possibility of working as a collective group to create value to the community (and even international community).

Another aspect of this is that I really feel that college age students in Austin could join together and serve a ministry like this. Many come from high school church youth groups and get to college without the community they were once used to. By serving together, they can create community for themselves, learn more than any class can teach about humanity, and help others – basically love their neighbors. Other students may come from a background of not knowing anything about Christ or anything about their purpose in life – and the best way to figure all of that out is to invest in others.

So hit me back with any ideas or requests to get involved. Or, whether you agree with any of this or disagree with all of it, please leave comments below.

• over half of the 26,000 students have considered suicide
• 18% of them have seriously considered suicide
• 8% of them have attempted suicide
• only 25% of completed suicides have previously sought out counseling, therefore 75% never sought professional help

If UT’s student population is 50,000, then the 8% figure means that over 4,000 students at UT have attempted suicide at some point in the past. According to KXAN, the study also says that 4% of graduate students and 6% of undergraduates have seriously considered suicide within the past year.

If you’re wanting to help us lower these rates and prevent suicide among college and high school students, please let me know so I can add you to our email lists.

I don’t know if I’ll ever truly understand the full story or have all of the facts. But I’ve scraped together a few things.

Back in July 2005, the Daily Texan ran an article on the topic. Back then, there were a bunch of laws proposed that we going to basically outlaw begging from the streets. But, a judge struck it down as unconstitutional. It seems that a sidewalk is a public forum and the laws were too broad and would have prevented free speech. The article also quoted Susan Morris who was and is the ARCH’s spokesperson and Community Relations Director. Here is an excerpt from the interview with her:

“I don’t see any of the people out soliciting on the streets in our facilities at [ARCH],” Morris said. Many of the people seen asking for help on the city’s roads aren’t homeless but might actually be in the latter stages of alcohol or substance abuse, she said.

“We encourage people to give their money wisely to agencies that help with food, shelter and medical care,” Morris said.

Morris blamed a lack of treatment facilities for indigent people with substance abuse issues in Austin for the amount of panhandlers that don’t use the money given to them wisely.

“We would like to see these people come in to get services, because the money people are giving them is probably not going to do anything helpful like provide shelter for the night or medical care,” Morris said.

This year, in March 2008, an Austin judge upheld the 2005 Municipal Court ruling that a city ordinance banning the solicitation of drivers is unconstitutional under the First Amendment. You can read more about it in a TRLA blog entry I ran across.

I ran across another post on a military spouse support blog that appears to contain a copy of a Houston Chronicle story about Austin panhandling and includes an actual interview with one of the panhandlers. Here is an excerpt:

John Henry Smith insists he makes an honest living begging for money at intersections in the state’s capital. In a few hours, with his swollen left leg exposed, he can make $70 or $80.

“It helps to be sick,” said the 49-year-old Lubbock native, who was shot in the leg 30 years ago.

Some people argue that we should all stop giving anything to people on the street corners so they will stop standing on the corners and begging. Well, if Susan Morris is right, if they are in the latter stages of substance abuse, then I wonder if taking away their street corners would force them to resort to crime to get money to support their addictions. Or, to hear John Henry Smith talk about it, he just sees it as a way to make $70 to $80 an hour. I gotta hand it to him. He makes more than me, but at least I’m not having to stand on a street corner and annoy people.

My current thoughts on all of this are that these folks on the street corners are my “neighbors” and that I should “love” them in some appropriate way. For me, for now, this means I’m going to respect them, offer them a smile, and maybe say, “Hi”, or maybe even ask them their name – but that’s it. They seem to be making a choice to be on the corner begging instead of getting help from local organizations. At some point, maybe we should all have little fliers made that have the address and bus route info for the Austin Resource Center for the Homeless (ARCH) on it along with other agencies so we can give that to them instead of cash. But for me, if I’m giving my money or time, I want it to go toward something that will eliminate poverty or homelessness and not something that will help sustain the thriving industry of street corner begging.

Many of these people have continued to improve their “businesses” too. Some around Riverside and I-35 are regularly offering iced down water bottles in return for a minimum donation. I’ve seen others in the area selling flowers. Over near Lamar and 5th St. they sometimes offer you a little newspaper in return for a donation. These things seem to support the claim that these are all just business people trying to make a buck. I suppose it is just a matter of time until the State Comptroller catches up with them and demands the appropriate permits and back sales taxes.

Enough about street corners. I’m done with this for now. On to learning more about other populations who are actually homeless and need help overcoming it.

I have bounced around for years wondering what I should personally do about homelessness.  I’ve gone from serving on a board of directors of a local homeless organization for families to giving gum to the people on the street corners instead of money to doing interviews of people at shelters to learn their stories to trying to figure out how to get to at least know the names of homeless people whose paths I cross on a regular basis.

I’ve never been happy with the results.  I’ve never been happy with what I’ve attempted.  I’ve always felt I could do more.  I’ve never felt right just giving money.  I don’t feel “called” to solve the problem for humanity or even for my neighborhood, but I know I’m supposed to be doing something about it – somehow.  I think we all are – in our own way – using our own gifts.

So this blog entry marks the beginning of my journey to figure it out at least for myself.  I plan to log each step I take on the journey – no matter how large or how small.  Some steps will be research and learning and others will be action.  I felt that by putting it in writing and having all of you read along with me, will maybe help encourage me to keep taking steps.  Maybe some of you will even comment on the steps and help either speed up the journey or else expand its scope and effectiveness.  And, there is also that dark likelihood that I quit.  If you keep following these blog entries, you’ll soon see that the journey will be a mess.  It isn’t me trying to feel good about myself or trying to get recognition.  It is seriously just documentation of a journey – no matter how right or wrong or good or bad or effective or total failure.

For starters, I want to learn more.  What is homelessness?  Who are they?  How do they become that way?  What do they need?  How are they already being served and by whom?

People talk about “The Homeless” like they are all the same – same situation, same needs.  It seems like a lot of people like to “Feed The Homeless” – as if that is their only problem.  I feel like one step might be to strike the word “homeless” from our vocabulary and use “poverty” instead.  I know for a fact that people considered homeless come in all shapes and sizes with many different needs – sometimes I feel like food is the least of their needs.  One homeless person at The Arch downtown told me that “…any idiot can get food whenever he wants it in Austin.  We need jobs…”

My first step is going to be brainstorming about all of the possible categories of homelessness with the thought being that breaking things down into smaller pieces can reveal new ways to look at or help that particular piece or category whereas looking at the larger group can be overwhelming or misleading.

(A) First Dimension: Desire to Change

This seems important. Can you help someone who doesn’t want to change? I’m guessing the answer is an absolute yes, but I also bet the ways in which you help those who want to change are much different from the ways you help those who don’t or can’t.

1. Those who want to no longer be homeless
2. Those who want to remain homeless
3. Those who don’t have the mental capacity to know what they want or need
4. Those too young to understand their situation or what they want or need

(B) Second Dimension: Type of Homelessness

When we talk about “serving the homeless”, it seems like we need to be either more specific about or more aware of who they are. Maybe our gifts are such that we can only help one of these types of homeless, but let’s not confuse that with thinking that we are helping all of the homeless – and more importantly, let’s join together to make sure that all of these types of homelessness are being served by someone.

1. Families in between jobs or hit with sudden financial/medical difficulty
2. Mentally ill people with no capacity to be self-sustaining or productive
3. Youth who have been abused or abandoned and left to survive on their own
4. People with substance abuse problems that prevent keeping or getting a job
5. Street Corner People who need or want help getting off the street

(C) Third Dimension: Homeless Needs

This list should probably be many pages long. If you ask the downtown shelter what they need, it would likely be socks, towels, and toiletry items. If you talk to a family in between jobs who just lost their home to foreclosure, they might need help with interviewing skills or their resume, a place to stay, and childcare for their baby while the parents are out interviewing. If you ask a person on the street corner with a sign that says “Hungry”, they will likely not want something to eat and would prefer cash. But I think my point is that we should figure what the most effective needs and services are before we just start feeding or emptying our wallets.

1. Temporary help until they can secure another job or be self-sustaining
2. Counseling/Therapy to control whatever is preventing holding down a job
3. Foster care until they are old enough and know how to be self-sustaining

(D) Fourth Dimension: Age

I’m sure there is overlap, but I’m also sure that each age group has unique needs and approaches to get out of homelessness and into a productive meaningful life. These age ranges are just off the top of my head for now.

1. Children who can’t help themselves (~under 15)
2. Youth who need help helping themselves (~15 to ~20)
3. Young adults (~21 to ~29)
4. Adults (~30 to ~65)
5. Seniors (~over 65)

These categories are just off the top of my head.  I plan to do more research on them and even come up with new dimensions that might be more helpful.

I get the feeling that most help for the homeless comes under the category of “Temporary Help”.  This includes providing food and shelter.  It might also include providing training, a mailing address, a phone number to receive voice mail, help writing resumes, childcare so parents can interview for jobs, etc.  This stuff is great and greatly needed.  But somehow I think it only touches the surface of the problem – and sometimes even prolongs the problem.

In each post I hope to also share a story about an experience I’ve had or heard of related to homelessness.  This one is about a 19 year-old I met over dinner at Mission Possible one Tuesday night.  It was my first and only time to serve there so far.  We were instructed to help prepare dinner, then serve it, then serve ourselves and sit with people and get to know them.  My passion is helping youth, so I looked for the youngest one in the room and sat with him.  We’ll call him Ricky.  It didn’t take long to get Ricky talking about his situation.  I felt awkward at first because I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, but it became easy to ask questions about where he stayed at night, where he grew up, what he would like to see in the future, etc.  

He talked about how he preferred to hang out and “live” in the Guadalupe area as opposed to the East Side because it was easier to avoid drugs at one more so than the other.  He knew he needed to avoid drugs in order to move forward.  He talked about how his dad gave him his first marijuana joint to smoke at age 11.  His dad still lives in Austin, but he rarely sees or talks to him.  I forget where his mom was, but she was completely out of the picture.  He was on his own.  He was sharp.  He knew more about life and was likely sharper than lots of 19 year-olds I know.  He got odd jobs now and then.  He tried to save money from them.  His hopes were to eventually get a good enough job to be able to have an apartment, car, etc.  I wish I had a great ending to the story.  I wish I had have encouraged him in some way – or found out how to stay in touch and help him in some way.  But I didn’t.  

I felt paralyzed.  I didn’t know what to say or do.  All sorts of fear came to me.  I regret it, but this one of many reasons I’m taking this journey, no matter how fast or slow, to try and figure out what to do next time – not only for a situation like this – but for all of the other situations – many of which I’ll write about soon. And I hope over time, some of you will write about in comments too – where you agree or disagree or have additional info. Stay tuned…